I know what you're saying. You're saying, "Holy Francis Mary Alvar Nunez Cabeza de Vaca and her 14 yapping zombie Pomeranians: The prophecy comes to pass! This is what I was born for. Literally. As the product of an extensive breeding program designed to produce a writer who could revive nearly 300 year-old dead literary genre, I was born for this."

We know, sweetie. We know.

The genre is the It Narrative, a minor literary genre that enjoyed a brief vogue the United Kingdom and the United States. I leave it to professional English studying guy and UCLA prof Chris "The Hammer" Looby to explain. From his intro to Robert Montgomery Bird's Sheppard Lee: Written by Himself:

"One can also detect in Sheppard Lee echoes of the curious minor genre of the 'it narrative,' popular in the eighteenth century, with titles like Adventures of a Hackney Coach, Adventures of a Guinea, Adventures of a Black Coat, and Adventures of a Corkscrew, all purporting to be narratives authored by the objects in question, telling about their material origins, manufactured production, commercial travels, and so forth. James Fenimore Cooper diligently revived the genre with his Autobiography of a Pocket-Hankerchief in 1843, in which the hankie in question tells the involved story of his growth as a flax plant, harvesting, weaving, sale, attendance at fashionable balls, resale, and so on."

There it is folks, your new challenge. Writers have been relying on humans as a crutch for too long. It's time other nouns took the stage. But we're going to update the genre a bit.

Here's the specs:

WFC Eye Ex: It Narrative
Word count: 2,500 words or less
Theme: A work narrated by an inanimate, man-made object
Post date: March 31, 2008 – end of day EST
Post site: http://hulver.panograph.net/

Unlike the traditional it narrative, you don't have to follow your item from the factory to the grave. You can if you want, but the choice is yours. Hell, you don't even have to use a real object. Just make sure you've got a man-made inanimate object narrating your work, the rest is up to you.

Before we go, I'd like to thank ad "The Hammer" hoc for the posting site. You're the tops, a cup overflowing with the milk of human kindness, and we all love you. And I need to thank Kell – "The Hammer" – nerin: she actually came up with concept like four or five challenges ago, but for some reason never used it. Mercifully, I'm not too proud to live off the intellectual table scraps of folks smarter than I. Thanks K, you are the sunshine of my life and the wind between my wings. I need to thank my producers Jean-Michel "The Hammer" Rey and Seiichi "The Hammer" Tsukada. Our editor Nelly "The Hammer" Quettier. And the band Tindersticks. We did it guys! We did it!

Now quick, start writing, before your computer runs out of great ideas.