• oh, yeah
  
• right on
  
• I knew that you could!/I knew that you would!/You knew that you should!
  

• Existence with hard line breaks
• People Have Their Uses in HTML

Also, although I've been known to submit more than one entry to a WFC, I lay no claim to either of these stories.

--
"Late to the party" is the new "ahead of the curve" -- CRwM

For me, the contest came down to "George [Insert Serial Number Here]" and "The 411." It came down to the wire, but I had to throw my support to the ol' four eleven. I like the dewy-eyed lovers tone, the somewhat cryptic ending, the machine's neediness, and the comedic contrast between the machine's access to information networks and its general ignorance of the world around it. It's William Gibson's "Gentlemen Prefer I-Phones."

Good show everybody. But there can be only One! 411, that is.

Existence. This seems like the classic form of It narrative to me, pathos and sympathy for the tool of man in the tale of their life from beginning to end. This goes for the fate of the balloon in the end, which is one of the few happy endings ...

Dian Bling. A bit gimmicky, but has a few moments.

Objectively Speaking. Because of the genre, I spent the first half of the story paying very close attention, trying to work out what the protagonist was. When it finally became unambiguous personal, my perspective shifted slightly. I liked this trick but it only works because one author did it. Also seems to have some ana tells.

The 411. I found myself constantly distracted from the actual story, though it's readable enough.

People Have Their Uses. Montana Jim the talking bone screw. I never watched such films as a child but I feel I know them well through the Simpsons alone.

George F26082238B. How good does it have to be to be twenty-cents good? Don't know about the ending here, or rather it feels like an intro to CSI: Banknote. Which could be fun, admittedly.


_{The Political Science Department of the University of Woolloomooloo}

• People Have Their Uses I have to admit, I reformatted this before I had properly read it, so I caught bits and pieces of it in that process, words and phrases showing the shifting tone between the sections. (It was a little like reading blues -- the process involves checking the top and bottom of each page to make sure that they flow into each other and nothing has been accidentally dropped from the book -- I'm not sure how much of this practice is still valid given current printing methods, but it's a good way to get a sense of whether you'll like the book, if you don't mind spoilers. Try it next time you're in a bookstore trying to decide if a book will be worth it, if anyone still goes to bookstores.) Anyway, though I had a good impression of this story from that initial pass, when I read it all the way through, it turned out to be more layered than I originally thought. The disembodied voice of the protagonist is haunting, more so than the calculated callousness of the film parody.
• For Now We See I think I would have found "you look right through me" more effective had I not known it was an It narrative going in. Despite the slow, almost Gertrude Steinian beginning, it turns out there is a there here. I like the descriptions more than the dialogue -- there are some nicely observed moments there, so much so that it almost strains the credulity of an inanimate object POV, for example, she would be more comfortable wearing a purse but wants to be the kind of person who wears a messenger's bag. I found the obsessive tracking of time a bit odd. Still, this made me look (metaphorically) at my windows (and how they see me) in a new way.
• Dian Bling With all apologies to our esteemed host CRwM, I have to agree with blixco. It was a minor stroke of genius to choose the inanimate object challenge to write in this form, and once you think of it, it's obvious that the twenty-first-century It narrative would be a blog. In fact, it makes me wonder why we don't have a word just for fridge blogs (frog?) The reverse chronological order works from a storytelling perspective, but also reads forwards as an evolution of an online journal. This left me torn between being sorta creeped out and wanting to put the fridge on my watchlist.

First the votes:

I checked off For Now We See and The 411. Both seemed the most polished and successful at what they set out to do. They stood out from the pack to me, so I didn't choose a 3rd.

And now the notes:

For now we see
Most interestingly, it seemed like a hybrid of first & second person narration. Good stuff, though depressing. Very well written. If the stories were submitted for a creative writing class assignment, I would expect this one to get the top mark.

Dian Bling
It's a cute story, and is consistent with its blog format by being reverse-chronological order. A little tedious to get to the punchline. Was sad to find the links go nowhere. Seems like it could be a starting point for a more developed story/hyperlink concept.

George F26082238B
Would have reminded me of the movie 20 bucks, had I ever actually seen the movie. Some stylistic choices in the writing that I wasn't too crazy about. A bit meandering, but it had some good moments and an odd sense of authenticity.

Objectively Speaking
Maybe I'm stupid, but I didn't get how the storyteller could be an inanimate object. I'll confess to reading it too quickly.

The 411
Okay, on the surface, I got this one, but I think some clues slipped me by. Not sure if it's a terrorist's cellphone or what. But overall, the most fun to read.  If the stories all published, I would expect this to be the bestseller.

Existence
Not badly written. A little too straightforward, but a completed entry that wasn't a cop-out. Though I feel I must point out the line: "A lab, black as night." Are you serious?

People Have their Uses
This would be my favourite "failure" of the bunch. It's too long with way too many details about stuff I didn't care about, and tosses too many things into the mix for a short story. But I thought the main concept (shifting consciousness) was the most interesting of the entries. Too bad it didn't stay focused on that.

I hope this doesn't come off as too harsh or brisk, since I haven't bothered to enter a WFC yet myself. Props to everyone who wrote one.