the ol' family hatred/take sides schtick. I heard too many times how f***ed up my mother was from my dad's family, and how weird my dad is from my mom's family. None of that sh*t has anything to do with me, so I'm staying out.

If you have to stay in touch with both parties - find a way. Which it seems like you've worked out the little bit you have. Good job.

The only people to get even with are those that have helped you.

All the whack jobs/racists/haters in my family are dead. Along with a couple of cool relatives,too, unfortunately.

I don't think my Dad, or his brother (or his brother's kids), know how to hate. Nor does my aunt (on my mother's side) or her two kids.

I see the cousins on Dad's side fairly semi-regularly. Every couple of years. See my uncle on that side every couple of years. Haven't seen my cousins on Mom's side in years. No reason for that, just chance. See my aunt on that side regularly. Once a month or so we get together for dinner.

And my Dad is my best friend.

Earth First!
_{(We can strip mine the rest later.)}

I haven't talked to my dad in fifteen years. I talk to the woman he divorced twenty-five years ago (who I never lived with) all the time.

Some people are good and some are pricks. I learned that for my own sanity it was better to hang out with the former.

(In truth, I'm sure if she weren't the mother of my half-brother we'd have fallen out of touch.)
----
_{ウセーバラケダ}

before there's an "incident" at the State Home for Girls.
You don't want something like that on your conscience, provided you have one.

Now I just feel pity and disgust for him. He didn't even know that he was going to be a grandfather, and I think it was just a couple weeks ago that I told him, but I don't really consider him to be my daughter's grandfather. My step-dad, the man that raised me from when I was really young and treated me like his real son is the grandfather of my daughter.

When it comes to blood, it doesn't mean you have to be tied to someone unconditionally. In your case, your father's hatred should not cause you to fill with hate. We are individuals, and while blood should mean something, we don't need to make unnecessary sacrifices.
- - - - -
That's what I always say about you, boz, you have a good memory for random facts about pussy. -- joh3n

Anything your ex-stepmuther did that resulted in hurting or angering you or anyone else in your family, was your fathers responsibility to prevent/protect his family from. Including himself. It also isn't your responsibility to play therapist for your Dad either. That's what his friends are for, not his Son. That's the way it works with parents, they're supposed to be the rocks we lean on, and it ain't cool to lean on or bend your kids ears when it comes to problems with personal relationships. Ever, 'till death. Parents are always parents. Doesn't matter if you're grown up or not. So, that woman may be messed up, but you no longer have to give two shits. Neither does he. Also, if your brother chooses to continue his ties with her, that's his deal, and as long as it doesn't have adverse affects on your relationship with him it's not a problem and it's alright to let it go. I think you're on the right track for letting go of some baggage dude. Good job. Most people are too afraid to take a good look at themselves. Not you. I sure understand the anger. It's always there, the trick is figuring out why it's there, and that understanding helps us have healthy managable anger and not the destructive kind. Cheers you magnificent motherfucker!

"Of course. I goatse my MP once a week!" - Hulver

I, for one, applaud him not taking "love" seriously. You can only put your hand in a fire so many times before you realize the only thing you get out of it is a burnt hand.

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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.